i choose . . . you

Polygamy: according to wikipedia it is the practice of multiple marriage

Then how come all polygamists are men?

Because no woman in her right mind would have multiple husbands.

or else

The Phantom of the Opera in 15 minutes. I triple dog dare ya.

top 101 "disney" songs

so i know that not all of these are disney movies, but i couldn't leave them out, they're too good

1. circle of life (the lion king)
2. a whole new world (aladdin)
3. beauty and the beast (beauty and the beast)
4. colors of the wind (pocahontas)
5. i stand alone (quest for camelot)
6. the bells of notre dame (the hunchback of notre dame)
7. under the sea (the little mermaid)
8. i'll make a man out of you (mulan)
9. two worlds (tarzan)
10. let me be your wings (thumbelina)
11. the lion sleeps tonight (the lion king 2)
12. candle on the water (pete's dragon)
13. can you feel the love tonight (the lion king)
14. once upon a dream (sleeping beauty)
15. i won't say (i'm in love) (hercules)
16. he lives in you (the lion king 2)
17. out there (the hunchback of notre dame)
18. looking through your eyes (quest for camelot)
19. once upon a december (anastasia)
20. be our guest (beauty and the beast)
21. the unbirthday song (alice in wonderland)
22. heaven's light/hellfire (the hunchback of notre dame)
23. when you wish upon a star (pinocchio)
24. go the distance (hercules)
25. so this is love (cinderella)
26. a girl worth fighting for (mulan)
27. i just can't wait to be king (the lion king)
28. belle (beauty and the beast)
29. god help the outcasts (the hunchback of notre dame)
30. some day my prince will come (snow white and the seven dwarves)
31. the prayer (quest for camelot)
32. the bare necessities (the jungle book)
33. hakuna matata (the lion king)
34. just around the riverbend (pocahontas)
35. a star is born (hercules)
36. kiss the girl (the little mermaid)
37. strangers like me (tarzan)
38. bella notte (lady and the tramp)
39. friend like me (aladdin)
40. the second star to the right (peter pan)
41. upendi (the lion king 2)
42. arabian nights (aliddin)
43. you'll be in my heart (tarzan)
44. a dream is a wish your heart makes (cinderella)
45. gaston (beauty and the beast)
46. everybody wants to be a cat (the aristocats)
47. part of your world (the little mermaid)
48. i wanna be like you (the jungle book)
49. cruella de vil (101 dalmations)
50. reflection (mulan)
51. united we stand (quest for camelot)
52. heigh-ho (snow white and the seven dwarves)
53. we are one (the lion king 2)
54. the court of miracles (the hunchback of notre dame)
55. be prepared (the lion king)
56. i wonder (sleeping beauty)
57. prince ali (aladdin)
58. the gospel truth (hercules)
59. following the leader (peter pan)
60. journey to the past (anastasia)
61. a spoonful of sugar (mary poppins)
62. when i see an elephant fly (dumbo)
63. steady as the beating drum (pocahontas)
64. son of man (tarzan)
65. supercalifragilisticexpialidocious (mary poppins)
66. something there (beauty and the beast)
67. love will find a way (the lion king 2)
68. topsy turvy (the hunchback of notre dame)
69. follow your heart (thumbelina)
70. learn to do it (anastasia)
71. you can fly! you can fly! you can fly! (peter pan)
72. one jump ahead (aladdin)
73. zero to hero (hercules)
74. what made the red man red (peter pan)
75. honor to us all (mulan)
76. bibbidi bobbidi boo (cinderella)
77. i've got no strings (pinocchio)
78. pink elephants on parade (dumbo)
79. siamese cat song (lady and the tramp)
80. that's what makes the world go round (the sword in the stone)
81. best of friends (the fox and the hound)
82. the age of not believing (bedknobs and broomsticks)
83. let's go fly a kite (mary poppins)
84. on my father's wings (quest for camelot)
85. little april shower (bambi)
86. casey junior (dumbo)
87. savages (pocahontas)
88. whistle while you work (snow white and the seven dwarves)
89. someone's waiting for you (the rescuers)
90. if i didn't have you (quest for camelot)
91. a guy like you (the hunchback of notre dame)
92. a pirate's life (peter pan)
93. oh sing sweet nightingale (cinderella)
94. chitty chitty bang bang (chitty chitty bang bang)
95. jolly holiday (mary poppins)
96. give a little whistle (pinocchio)
97. he's a tramp (lady and the tramp)
98. poor unfortunate souls (the little mermaid)
99. i'm wishing (snow white and the seven dwarves)
100. baby mine (dumbo)
101. feed the birds (mary poppins)

the sad thing is that i can think of so many more

it doesn't matter that this isn't real, it doesn't matter

it's short, i promise, so please, just watch, and comment

half and half

how to impress a girl from ancient history to now

Curious?

please call our toll free number

how to turn your car into an unstoppable murder machine in 8 easy steps

reflecting on my blog

Blogging. Well. If we are being brutally and completely honest, most of the time I felt like an absolute loser for having a blog and keeping up with it. Not that I'm saying that only losers have blogs. Just that me having one made me feel like a loser. At times I got really into it. I would keep up with the word count and even have extra posts. This was the worst. At one point I even started to talk about it in public. Bad. Bad. Bad. Again, no offence to those of you who enjoy blogging, it just isn't my "thing". Mostly I just wanted to have a bunch of followers so that other people would see that I had a lot of followers and follow my blog as well because they thought that it must have been good since I had so many followers. I don't think I said follow/followers enough in that last sentence. Followers. Follow. Followers. Anyway, overall I thought I did ok. At first I talked about boring things like books. But eventually I realized that if I didn't want to read about books someone else had read, nobody else probably did either. For a while I had no topic in general that I was writing about. Actually, until I was stuck under the "Pop Culture" category, I just wrote about anything I could think of that I thought I could say a lot about. Let me say though, having a somewhat specific thing to write about definitely helped me to come up with ideas of what to say. Even now I still have trouble filling the word count. Currently at 272. (*exasperated sigh*) As for the continuance of this blog, I think I can truthfully say that I will more than likely never visit it again. Maybe I will leave it up/out/not delete it and then revisit it next year to see how many people have looked at it/commented on it in my absence, most of them probably after clicking on that next blog thing, which is really kind of cool; plus, I had no idea that so many people around the world had blogs, I thought it was just an american thing. While I think that I would have preferred blogging to writing in journals it is hard to say without having done both. This just always seemed like the faster way to get it done. Not necessarily easier. But faster.

still

same thing as before, but with virginia woolf. blue= bad. pink= good.

Original:
Virginia Woolf
The most prominent British woman writer of our century, Virginia Woolf was born in London in 1882, the youngest daughter of Sir Leslie Stephen, a leading critic and editor. Frail in health as a child, she was educated mainly at home in her father's library. In 1904 she settled in the Bloomsbury district of London, joining an intellectual circle that came to include economist John Maynard Keynes and biographer Lytton Strachey. In 1917 she and her husband, Leonard Woolf, established the Hogarth Press, publisher of her own novels and of the first translated works of Sigmund Freud. In the 1920s her novels won wide attention[s]. Woolf's techniques were then new and radical: in Mrs. Dalloway (1925) she explores characters' streams of consciousness; in Orlando (1928) her Elizabethan hero defies time and lives for centuries, changing into a woman in midlife. As an essayist and critic, Woolf is remembered especially for The Common Reader (in two series, 1925 and 1932), The Death of the Moth (1942), and A Room of One's Own (1929). In 1941, depressed by ill health and by World War II, she weighted her pockets with stones and stepped into a river.

My version:
Virgin Wolf
The most promint (that is pro-mint, as in for mint) British woman of cent, Gini Woo, was born in Loo in 18, the youngest dater of Sir Lies Pen, a lad critic and editor. Frail as a child, he was mainly a she. The Boobs of London, a circle that Jo Man Keys, grapler Lytton Achey, and her husband, Lord Woof, established the Hog Press pub. Heron novels and the first translated works of Sig Fred won wide anions. Woofs were radical. Mrs. Dallay explores streams of cons. Orlando, her Elizabethan hero, defies Tim and lives for cents, changing into a woman, ass, and critic. Woolf remembered the como rad death moth and a room of sow. I[m]pressed by ill health and old weight she stepped into a river.

Again, much better.

wrong

the statement given about henry david thoreau on the essay the battle of the ants. yeah. it's wrong. i fixed it though. here is the original paragraph, everything in blue is what i got rid of, everything in pink is what is left.

Henry David Thoreau (1817- 1862) was born in Concord Massachusetts, where, except for short excursions, he remained [so] for the whole of his life. After his graduation from Harvard College, he taught school briefly, worked sometime as surveyor and house painter, and for a time worked in his father's pencil factory (and greatly improved the product). The small sales of his first, self-published book, A Week on the Concord and Merrimac Rivers (1849), led him to remark, "I have now a library of nearly nine hundred volumes, over seven hundred of which I wrote myself."
The philosopher Ralph Waldo Emerson befriended his neighbor Thoreau; but although the two agreed that a unity exists between man and nature, they did not always see eye to eye on matters of politics. Unlike Emerson, Thoreau was an activist. He helped escaped slaves flee to Canada; he went to jail rather than pay his poll tax to a government that made war against Mexico. He recounts this brush with the law in his essay "Civil Disobedience" (1849), in which later readers (including Mahatma Gandhi of India and Martin Luther King Jr.) have found encouragement for their own non-violent resistance. One other book appeared in Thoreau's life time: Walden (1854), a searching account of his life in (and around, and beyond) the one-room cabin he built for himself at Walden Pond near Concord. When Thoreau lay dying, an aunt asked whether he had made his peace with God. "I did not know we had quarreled," he replied.

So now it reads:
Henry David Thoreau was short, he remained so for the whole of his life. After his graduation from Harvard College, he taught briefly as a house painter in his father's pencil factory and greatly improved his-self. A week on the Concord and Merrimac rivers led him to remark "I have now a library over myself."
The Waldo merson (as in mer-maid, mer-son) befriended his butt. The two agreed that a unity exits between man and nature, they did not always see eye to eye on matters of tics. Unlike merson, Thoreau was a slave to Canada; he went to jail rather than pay Mexico. He recounts this brush with Mahatma Gandhi. India and Marti the King Jr. have found encouragement for their own violent pear. In Thoreau's lifetime his life he built for himself. When Thore lay dying, an ant asked whether he had made squirrel. He lied.

Short, sweet, and to the point.

why you should learn how to knit

this post has nothing to do with knitting.

two new people stories.

scene one: team. at a game. in waterloo? playing. winning. by a lot. me. standing. girl on the other team. running. running. running into me. girl turns. girl glares. girl says why don't you watch where you're going. scowl. what? seriously? why don't you get out of my way? except i'm not the one who ran into you. *sigh*

take two: this one is entirely my fault. me. in ap chem. 6th hour. end of the day. tired. have a question. ask snook. snook runs away. i follow her. quickly. snook. running. running. running. me. running. running. running. sliding. sliding. sliding. falling. falling. falling. BAM. lots of pain. major embarrassment. land behind the counter. have to stand up behind it in front of class. lots of laughter. still embarrassed.

beg pardon!?!

check out these websites that, at first glance, appear to be not so, um, appealing. BEWARE. some of these are pretty bad.



the first one is a site called Who Represents where you can find out what agents represent which celebraties, their website name: http://www.whorepresents.com/, very child friendly

next we visit Experts Exchange where programmers can go to discuss and exchange ideas, visit them at http://www.expertsexchange.com/

looking for a reliable therapist? someone who makes you feel comfortable and right at home? check out Therapist finder at http://www.therapistfinder.com/. not working out for ya? maybe you'd be better off at http://www.accesstherapist.com/


also, for those of you interested in checking out the Mole Station Native Nursery located in New South Wales, take a look at their website http://www.molestationnursery.com/


need a new computer? check out the software at http://www.ipanywhere.com/. not satisfied? maybe you should talk to the experts at Web One, that's http://www.webone.com/

teachers, there are websites out there for you as well. get the latest updates on what's happening in the classroom at http://www.teacherstalk.com/

art has taken it to a new level. visit Speed of Art at http://www.speedofart.com/ to see what i mean. its even better than her sister site, http://www.potsofart.com/

hey all you taekwondo fans out there, visit the World Taekwondo Federation at http://www.wtf.com/

looking for a relaxing get away? take a trip to Lake Tahoe. for more information, visit http://www.gotahoe.com/


i just have a few things to say to these websites. first, doesn't anybody proof this before putting it out there for the world to see? second, what kind of a moron doesn't catch something like that? and third, my favorite one would have to be the speedofart one. too good. and i can actually see how they might have originally missed something like that. and now i just need 100 more words for this week so i am just going to type until i reach my marker. so some ridiculous security system thing keeps poping up and trying to guilt me into buy some new anti virus software, which i probably should do, but won't. it keeps asking if i would like to install it but instead of asking me to choose a simple yes or no, i have to pick between, no, i would rather leave me computer unprotected or yes, please save my computer from potential harmful viruses. what is all this about? it might as well be asking whether i would like my computer to crash now or if another time would be more convenient. i just need seven more words. done.

dance crazes over the ages

50s


lindy hop- pretty much just a couple swinging each other around like crazy

the stroll- girls on one side and boys on the other and the line moved up as each couple would meet one at a time in the center at the beginning of the line and stroll to the music down the line between the others and take their place at the end of the line, sounds like loads of fun if you ask me

the hand jive- if you don't know, i am not telling you

the alligator- you lay down on the floor, bend your knees to your stomach, then kick your legs (alternating) from your knees down



60s


the twist- take a wild guess what this one looked like, unfortunately this was one of those moves that was popular among both teens and their parents

mashed potato- hop around and pretend you are mashing potatoes with your feet, more or less

the monster mash- same as the mashed potato except you hold your arms in a "ghoulish" positions


the madison- step left forward, place right beside left (no weight)and clap, step back on right, move left foot back and across the right, move left foot to the left, move left foot back and across the right

the freddie- simply stand in place, then, in rhythm with the music first extend the left leg and left arm; then the right leg and right arm, way exciting

70s

the robot- yeah, it's been around a while

the hustle- california or night fever line?

bus stop- take 4 steps backwards, clap, take 4 steps forward, clap, grapevine to the right, clap, grapevine to the left, clap, right heel forward, left heel forward, 2 Heel clicks, right heel forward, left heel forward, right foot front, right foot back, right foot to the right side, lift right leg while quarter- turning left; i couldn't do it justice on my own

80s

the african anteater ritual- you'll have to see Can't Buy Me Love for this one, way too hard to explain but definitely worth seeing

the chinese typewriter- jump from side to side, toes in, toes out

the fishing pole- cast a line, reel it in, repeat

moonwalk- you move one foot backwards keeping all your foot on the floor while your static foot has its heel raised, keep changing foots, it should look as if you are walking forward but the floor is pulling you back, a MJ classic, what a guy

90s

hammer dance- my dad claims to have done this one, says it was very popular with the ladies, by M.C. Hammer, he wore those baggy genie pants, keep legs wide apart, slightly bents, shuffle quickly one way, then the other, yeah, hot stuff

the jump- bet cha can't guess what this one looked like

tootsee roll- knees in, knees out, knees in, knees out, can you say scandalous?

macarena- anyone and their grandma could do this dance, how did it become a craze?

moshing or a mosh pit- not really a dance move but definitely a dance craze, don't worry though, being part of the nineties means your parents didn't do it, hopefully

two for the price of one

Gosh i love people. they are so fabulous. you have no idea. really, you have no idea.



Scene one: sitting in my least favorite class waiting for my least favorite teacher to arrive. the kid next to me leans over. wait for it. wait for it. and asks me how to spell paper. no joke. i look at him to see if he is kidding. no. he is totally serious and seriously unabashed for having to ask such a degrading question. just sitting there, waiting for my answer. um? p-a-p-e-r. thanks. er, no problem. (*are you sure you are right place? this is high school.)


Take two: me. walking to a soccer meeting. walking down the hall. hear something. see three . . . rappers(?) come around the corner. one is "singing/rapping", one is making funny noises, one is kinda dancing in a weird sort of way. they are coming towards me. i try not to laugh. they stop before we pass one another. i am offered a spot in their upcoming dance video. after regretfully reclining i continue on my way. such a shame. i really do not know what to say. flattered, i am sure.

6 truths of life

1. You cannot touch all your teeth with your tongue.

2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, will try it.

3. The first truth is a lie.

4. You’re smiling now because you’re an idiot.

5. You soon will test this out on another idiot.

6. There’s still a stupid smile on your face.

(authoritative voice) i have located the origin of the swine flu

prepare yourself for something truly horrible
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i mean absolutely terrifying
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you may want to sit down for this
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the girl has got to go

my favorite spoofs

a very short list, for now, plus, some of these aren't actually spoofs off other movies, more just like spoofs in general:

1. Airplane (1980) - Starring Leslie Nielsen, Robert Hayes, Kareem Abdul Jabbar, Julie Hagerty, Robert Stack, Lloyd Bridges and Peter Graves.

Favorite quote: There is none really, just a whole bunch of great ones equally, here are a few...

Ted Striker: My orders came through. My squadron ships out tomorrow. We're bombing the storage depots at Daiquiri at 1800 hours. We're coming in from the north, below their radar.
Elaine Dickinson: When will you be back?
Ted Striker: I can't tell you that. It's classified.

Roger Murdock: We have clearance Clarence.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger.
What's our vector Victor?
Tower voice: Tower's radio clearance, over!
Captain Oveur: That's Clarence Oveur! Oveur.
Tower voice: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: Roger, over.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Captain Oveur: Huh?

Rumack: Captain, how soon can you land?
Captain Oveur: I can't tell.
Rumack: You can tell me. I'm a doctor.
Captain Oveur: No. I mean I'm just not sure.
Rumack: Well, can't you take a guess?
Captain Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.
Rumack: You can't take a guess for another two hours?

Favorite Scene:
Really just the whole thing.


2. Robin Hood- Men In Tights (1993) - Funny scenes throughout, good British sounding performance by Cary Elwes as Robin, Richard Lewis as Prince John and Dave Chappelle as Ahchoo.

Favorite quote:
Prince John: Such an unusual name, "Latrine." How did your family come by it?
Latrine: We changed it in the 9th century.
Prince John: You mean you changed it TO "Latrine"?
Latrine: Yeah. Used to be "S$%thouse."
Prince John: It's a good change. That's a good change!

Favorite Scene:
Robin and Little John fight one another with big sticks and each hit snaps their sticks in half, they are eventually reduced to 4 inch sticks and resort to hand slapping.


3. Young Frankenstein (1974) - Starring Gene Wilder, Peter Boyle, Madeleine Kahn and Teri Garr.

Favorite quote:
Igor: Dr. Frankenstein...
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: "Fronkensteen."
Igor: You're putting me on.
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: No, it's pronounced "Fronkensteen."
Igor: Do you also say "Froaderick"?
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: No... "Frederick."
Igor: Well, why isn't it "Froaderick Fronkensteen"?
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: It isn't; it's "Frederick Fronensteen."
Igor: I see.
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: You must be Igor. [He pronounces it ee-gor.]
Igor: No, it's pronounced "eye-gor."
Dr. Friedrich von Frankenstein: But they told me it was "ee-gor."
Igor: Well, they were wrong, weren't they?

Favorite scene:
Everytime Frau Blucher's name is mentioned.


4. The Producers (2005) - Starring Nathan Lane, Matthew Broderick, Uma Thurman, Will Ferrell, Gary Beach, and Roger Bart.

Favorite Quote:
Roger De Bris: Oh dear, your Mr. Bloom is staring at my gown. I should explain. I'm going to the choreographer's ball this evening. There is a prize for best costume.
Carmen Ghia: We always win.
Roger De Bris: I'm not so sure about this year. I'm supposed to be the Grand Dutchess Anastasia, but I think I look more like the Chrysler Building!
Carmen Ghia: Well, as far as I'm concerned, without your wig on, you're only half-dressed.
Roger De Bris: Well then, why don't you go and get it, o Wicked Witch of the West? [pause]
Carmen Ghia: If your intention was to shoot an arrow through my heart... bulls-eye!

Favorite Scene:
The song that follows this quote, "Keep It Gay!".