Monday, November 10, 2008

A Cure For The Monday Blues

(Semi)Real Newspaper Headlines

  • Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
  • Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
  • Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
  • Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
  • Eye Drops off Shelf
  • Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
  • Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
  • Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Axe
  • Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
  • Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
  • Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
  • Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
  • Deer Kill 17,000
  • Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
  • New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
  • Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
  • Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
  • Fire British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
  • Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
  • Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
  • Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half New
  • Vaccine May Contain Rabies
  • College Opens Doors to Hearing
  • Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
  • Include your Children When Baking Cookies
  • Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

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