(Semi)Real Newspaper Headlines
- Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
- Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
- Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
- Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
- Eye Drops off Shelf
- Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
- Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
- Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Axe
- Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
- Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
- Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
- Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
- Deer Kill 17,000
- Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
- New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
- Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
- Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
- Fire British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
- Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
- Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
- Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half New
- Vaccine May Contain Rabies
- College Opens Doors to Hearing
- Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
- Include your Children When Baking Cookies
- Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
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