you know who you are

you know you're from Iowa when . . .

1. You measure distance in minutes
2. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your pine tree (that's some fancy livin')
3. Weather is 90% of your conversation (so . . .)
4. Down south to you means Missouri
5. Snow tires came standard on your car
6. You have no concept of public transportation
7. The top 5% of your graduation high school class went to Iowa State -- everyone else attended the U of I
8. You know more than one person who has hit a deer (i also know a person who hit more than one deer at a time)
9. You have no problem spelling "Des Moines"
10. You know the answer to the question, "Is this Heaven?"
11. Your school classes have been canceled because of cold (yup)
12. Your school classes have been canceled because of heat (yup)
13. You know what the numbers I-80, 280, 380 mean
14. You know what "Amish Country" is
15. You've licked frozen metal (for one reason or another)
16. The only reason you go to Wisconsin or Missouri is to get fireworks
17. You wear shorts when it's 50 degrees out in March, but bundle up and complain in August when it goes below 60 degrees
18. You have gone Trick-or-Treating in two feet of snow
19. You carry jumper cables in your car (and you know how to use them)
20. In a conversation you heard someone say "Yah sure you betcha" or "No, I never" or "Not once ever even" and you didn't laugh
21. Detasseling was your summer job
22. People from other states love to hear you say "Iowa" and other words with "Os" in them
23. You know what "Hawks" and "Clones" are
24. You can't drive 5 miles without passing at least one church (or three)
25. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway
26. Vacation means going to Adventureland or Okoboji (par-tay!)
27. You "warsh" your clothes
28. You see a car running in the parking lot at the grocery store with no one in it, no matter what time of year it is (what's the worst thing that could happen)
29. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or vegetable
30. When asked how your trip to any foreign, exotic place was you respond "It was different."
31. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car
32. Little smokies are something you serve on special occasions
33. You've never met a TV celebrity (local newpeople don't count)
34. You've gone hunting for morel mushrooms
35. You use phrases like "catty wampus" and "knee high by the fourth of July"
36. There's a tornado and the whole town is outside watching for it
37. You get up a 5:30 am and go to the coffee shop
38. You pick up all the free stuff at the state fair (guilty)

how many are you guilty of? probably too many.