World's Ugliest Couch Awards

Here they are, folks, the results of the World Wide Ugliest Couch Contest of 2008, hot off the printers and ready to be shared with you:

In a stunning First Place: "(My) God! Save the Queen"

I, personally, liked this couch. It looks like the sort of furniture that would spark conversation and could be lied about very easily. "Yes, you see my couch here, it came all the way from the queen's palace. One of her favorite pieces. A personal friend of my grandmother. Sent to us as a wedding present. Dined with her last summer. Charming lady, absolutely charming."

In a not so stunning Second Place, the scrupulous "The Scrap-Booker's Hell"

This is a couch that thinks its a stain glass window. There was a little mix up in the shipping and when the pieces for the window arrived, look what they got instead. It will go very well with the rest of the church's decor I'm sure. It's not like they could donate it to the poor, no one would want it.

In a very close Third Place: "Sherbet a la Mode"

This puppy looks like a cross between a fanatic gardener and a tropical vacation gone wrong. The combination of floral and vegetable designs mixed with the eccentric color choices makes for one heck of any room's focal point. Unable to sit down for fear of being sunk into the vast mixture of horrendous home decor and nightmare like finger paintings, guests will only be able to stare and gawk.

In Fourth Place, my personal favorite: "The Magic Carpet"

Does it not look like this couch could just fly? I mean really? Whoever thinks this couch is ugly should be slapped. It's B-E-A-UTIFUL. Seriously, where can I get me one?

Here is the winner from 2007: "Hold On To Your Kilts, Gents"

Just looking at this couch makes me want to adopt a Scottish accent. I especially like the lack of legs. Who wants to sit up high anyway? I would much rather look up at people when I talk to them.

The 2006 winner was: "Trash"

I don't think you should be able to submit dirty couch's into the contest. They just have to be naturally ugly, though I think this one falls under that category as well.

The winner of 2005 was: "Camouflage Me Not"

Wonder where I'm going to sit? I really like the way they mixed the floral pattern with dirt. It's like the flowers are growing right out of the stuffing. Amazing. Amazing.

And last, and probably tied for least, the winner of 2004: "Stranded at the Drive-In"

No offence, honey, but your not really helping the couch any, though I especially like you creativity in the front leg.