The Older You Get, The Better Stories You Tell

Job shadowed, and dear god I've learned so much that I can't wait to share (heavy sarcasm, fyi).

Background: I went to the Adult Daycare Center. It's a place were people sent their parents when they don't want them at home alone and then come pick them up after work. Kinda sad, but not really.

First, the lady sitting next to me, Bonny, who had a very pronounced mustache, decided to educate me on the proper way to castrate a cow. Ew. After that we moved on to milking them. Gross. Then she told me all about her 32 cats and how she was allergic to them, but she still keeps them. She even rattled off all their names to me. All 32 names. Then she told me (this gets a little graphic) how she always had a thing for horse testicles. What? Seriously? This isn't something you share, babe. All the while there is this parakeet in the background who insists on chirping, non-stop. Then the man on my other side, Don, told me all about his pet donkey, Nellie. Nellie was blind. They rode Nellie. Nellie ran into things. Then some lady across the room starts shouting about how when she was a girl they had a turkey, a watch turkey, named Thurman T. Turkey. Thurman liked to chase cars. One year they ate Thurman for Thanksgiving dinner. Ah. Then a man tapped me on my shoulder and asked if I would like to play strip poker with him. AH. Then Kyle, the guy I was shadowing who's voice was exactly like that of Bob the Tomato, steered him away and began singing "Who Broke The Lock On The In-House Door?". Um, k. Next I got to hear stories of Shep, the pet yo-yo. Yes, someone had a pet yo-yo. Meanwhile the bird continues to chirp. Chirp. Then Bob the Tomato said that they were going to sing and that they were going to split the big group into three smaller groups: men, women, and bald people. That was funny. Then they sang. I didn't know the song. That's it.