to-not-to's

Things I vow to do when I'm old:

1. wear pants that come up at least past my belly button
2. make sure my orthopedics have some sort of glitter or sequin design on them
3. call everyone younger than me honey or sweetie pie or pumpkin or something of that nature
4. make old jokes about people older than me or about my age
5. own at least one piece of leopard print clothing
6. sing really really really loud at church
7. have blue hair
8. wear lots of make-up
9. talk like I'm still 17
10. walk around the mall in a sweatsuit (for exercise, instead of shopping)
11. be really grumpy to everyone I don't know