so really i didn't come up with any of these but (being kinda weird) everytime i see a funny bumper sticker i like to write it down, so these are ones that i have collected plus a few more:
-- All men are idiots, and I married their king.
-- Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot.
-- I brake for no apparent reason.
-- Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once.
-- Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
-- I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian. (my personal favorite)
-- Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
-- Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
-- I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
-- Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off NOW.
-- Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
-- Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
-- Puritanism: the haunting fear that someone somewhere may be happy.
-- Consciousness cuts into my napping.
-- Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
-- There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't. (lame)
-- Keep honking. I'm reloading.
-- I'm not tailgating, I'm kissing ass.
-- Nowhere you are.
-- Jesus is coming, look busy.
-- Isn't a smoking area in a restaurant like a peeing area in a swimming pool?
-- Just when you think life's a bitch, it has puppies.
-- I got kicked out of cub scouts for eating a brownie.
-- I don't discriminate, I hate everybody.
-- Like what you see? Dial 1-800-YOU-WISH.
-- I used up all my sick days, so I called in dead. (definately second favorite)
-- I'd rather be out sick than in sane.
-- I'm retired, go around me.
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