you know what i mean

so i was going through some boxes that i found in our washing room and i came across this book called Learning To Talk More Gooder Fastly: Redneck Dictionary. obviously more of a dictionary than a book, but i wanted to share a few of the definitions. i hope this doesn't count as plagiarism, i'm not claiming it as my own.

some of these you have to read through a few times before they actually make sense.

ac-tiv-ist: to behave in a certain manner, particularly one based on another reality. "She seduced me into signing that petition, and now she activist she don't even know me."

bu-lim-ia: a demand that one accept the speaker's truthfulness. "Bulimia don't want to do that."

cer-ti-fy: a phrase applying a condition or assumption to the use of a formal term for a male person. "I wouldn't've called her certify had known it was a woman."

de-cide: the position to the right or left of the front or back of an object or being. "We've concluded that he resembles a pear if you look at him from decide."

doo-dle: a male person and his predicted actions. "Don't even look at him, 'cuz that doodle kill you."

elite: a phrase predicting ingestion by a male. "Give it to Jake . . . elite anything."

fe-males: a phrase implying he action conditional on a male person putting a packag or missive into the postal system, with the purpose of its delivery to an indicated address. "Females it today, we should have it by Friday."

Kat-man-du: a mythical character with feline qualities and his actions or function. "I get why we let Aquaman into the club, but what the hell's the Katmandu?"

ma-ple: expressing the possibility of the act of yanking. "Timmy's adorable, but he maple your hair out."

one more
mas-och-ist: the act of pressing one's lips against a person or object in relation to the celebration of the Christian Eucharist. "I'm sure I'll suffer for it later, but during the first masochist the widow Johnson, and during the second masochist her sister."